A few years ago, I was in a completely familiar and common situation — I was introducing myself to a new person at church. I reached out my hand to be shaken, and I said, “Hi, I’m Jenny Bryson.”
At that point I had been Jenny Wolfer for twenty years, and I had never, since the day I signed my marriage license, ever used my maiden name except when filling out official forms, and then only paired with my full official first name.
We are capable of putting down new neural pathways by using a new habit or way of thinking, over and over, until it becomes a superhighway in our brains, and we just default to it. But the old pathway, like a Roman road, never completely goes away. And sometimes, especially when we’re in an old set of circumstances, we wander down the old path. Maybe we revert to an old childhood role when we go home for the holidays, or maybe we find ourselves back in an old maladaptive coping mechanism when faced with an old trigger. (And maybe those two examples are actually the same experience.)
This can work to our advantage too. We actually have an expression for this in English, “It’s like riding a bicycle.” There are ways of thinking and doing that we might need to revert to, and when that need arises, we step right onto the path and go where we need to go.
To avoid falling back on those old negative pathways, we can bring awareness to what used to take us down that path, and make an active choice to take the safe road. We also can bring awareness to and savor the helpful times that we find ourselves automatically cycling down the ancient abandoned Roman roads of our mind. 🚴🏻♂️
What are the good habits or ways of thinking that you’ve been able to easily pick back up again as needed in your own life?